One of many choices.
There are many sandwich choices in life. They all mean something. A cigar is not just a cigar, it is a tobacco sandwich from your subconscious.
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(If you’re vegan or veggie, just assume we’re talking about the fake version of the same name.)
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Bread
A.) White
B.) Sour-dough
C.) Whole Grain
D.) Rye
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Texture
A.) No Crusts
B.) Toasted
C.) Seeds
D.) Make it a roll
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Hot Options
A.) Chicken Breast
B.) BBQ beef
C.) Roasted Yams
D.) Meatballs
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Cold Options
A.) Bologna
B.) Turkey
C.) Tuna
D.) Salami
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Cheese
A.) American
B.) Pepper Jack
C.) Sharp Cheddar
D.) Swiss
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Greens
A.) Iceburg
B.) Romaine
C.) Sprouts
D.) Extra Bacon
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Veggies
A.) Tomatoes
B.) Onions
C.) Roasted red peppers
D.) Pickles
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Most Important Condiment
A.) Mayonnaise
B.) Mustard
C.) Sun-dried tomatoes
D.) Katsup
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Extras Inside
A.) Potato Chips
B.) Leftover Stuffing
C.) Avocado
D.) Saurkraut
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Sides
A.) Fries
B.) Salsa
C.) Salad
D.) Dessert
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Which missing ingredient bothers you most?
A.) Peanut butter and jelly
B.) Pesto
C.) Seitan
D.) Mortadella
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One of many results.
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MOSTLY A’s: Blandina Gourmet – You appreciate the simple things, really simple things. Not only are flowers meant to be sniffed, photographed and meaningfully framed on your wall, even if it was just a greeting card from the your distant aunt, but American cheese is meant to be enjoyed on white, crustless bread. Your picky tastes will lead you to comfortable surroundings where you don’t feel out of place, but maybe try the garlic aioli sometime. You can try it by yourself so you can spit it into your napkin if you don’t like it.
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Mostly B’s: Sunshine Freshy Fresh – Moderation goes nicely in the middle of two slices of bread. What else will be in the middle? You’re open to suggestion – not too mild, not too spicy, not too committed to any item on the menu or your schedule. Your flexibility and optimism will get you many good meals and friends, but unless you settle on something or someone, you’ll be by yourself on the floor when the food poisoning hits. The yogurt wasn’t fancy, it was bad.
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Mostly C’s: Hearty Hippy – You’re stinky, and it’s only natural. Whether you’re a vegetarian, lesbian or constantly mistaken for one, your toes will always look good in those Berkenstocks thanks to your excellent nutrition. You poop like a champion, but fiber is not all there is. Try the Doritos sometime. They taste like cheesy tofu on a sunny autumn day.
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Mostly D’s: Traditional Tang – Right out of the Old Country. Your breath is as spicy as grandma’s Sunday dinner. Even if your grandmother wasn’t Italian, your subs sure are. You’ll never forget history or to have three lunches. You’ll make sure that you and your loved ones never get too skinny, but you know what doesn’t suck? Fresh veggies and fruits. Start with them smothered in cheese and sauces until you get comfortable. Then forget the side of extra diabetes.